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Ressentiment (Hamartia)

from An Embrace of Adaptation by Human Kitten

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Wake up. What am I to do today?
How do I fill the hours of a life
Where I don't feel capable of doing anything at all?
Wake up. How am I to feel today?
How do I escape the agonizing narratives
That kept me up til sunrise?

I stare into the eyes of a distant hope and it says “hold on”
I cant control the world, I can only control if I hold on
Everything, it hurts right now, but I need to, I need to
I need to hold on

Wake up, I am useless
That is all you want from me, to dissolve completely into
Nothingness, nothing at all

And I know that this is no better
Breaking rules, attempts to feel less scattered
Opposite directions take me
I never learned to learn without failing


from An Embrace of Adaptation, released October 31, 2019


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