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Velvet Waltz

by Human Kitten

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aliss_blackout_hrt_bandits This is my intro to Human Kitten. Very well written catchy af songs that pull at my head things and my heart strings. Favorite track: Doomed to Try.
redncheez thumbnail
redncheez I find myself going back to this album over and over again. By far the best Human Kitten album yet. It's cohesive and both depressingly relatable and uplifting at the same time. Favorite track: Heart Container.
ProvokingDrama thumbnail
ProvokingDrama The lyrics are such familiar terrain to me, it's almost unnerving. These are feelings I only wish I could put into words. Beautifully written and performed. The single guitar highlights the loneliness and alienation. So good to listen to on a bad day to make you feel like you aren't alone- at least one other person out there has been through it too. Favorite track: Sensory Deprivation.
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Am, G, C Can't even write songs Am, G, C, F I am way too sad to even try to vocalize my thoughts Wanna destroy my feelings Every single damn time that I get so caught up in the healing Cause it's never lasting Cause I'm stuck never lasting F, G, C, F You could tell me a million ways That things could get better for me I'll give you a billion fucking excuses For why I just keep on regressing Back to the person I was when I was 12, So shell shocked by the complexities F, G, C, G, F Of the world, and my mind, And all the rest that is still left to be defined Am, G, C Most days I'm just too scared to be alive Am, G, C I push everyone away Am, G, C, F Single handedly destroying my reputation Through the stupid things I say That I can't take back I am permanently damaged from the results of my past And it's everlasting Cause I'm stuck never lasting F, G, C, F I could live a trillion years And still feel like shit every day And I could live a quadrillion more And still never find a fucking way To satisfy the ones that I love, to which I wish I could say G, C Please forgive me now F, G, C Please forgive me now F, G, C, G, F Just give me a break, I'm just trying to make it Through every minute of the day Am, G, C Before I sell this broken soul on eBay F, C No reserve
I'm a nice filler for a party that needs some bodies I'm a nice filler for a twitter account that needs some followers I know my place, this is just a stepping stone, my face I know what I am to you: nothing at all, nothing at all 24 years old, I'm still afraid of the telephone Don't know how to make friends or not live on the internet Haven't been to a doctor in over twelve months now And I wish I knew how to take care of myself I really need someone in my life To care about the fact that I Don't know how to survive When left to my own devices I am lacking in the skills that are necessary To maintain any sense of restraint From the urge to use my body as a punching bag for my brain The only consistent thing In my life has been everyone leaving I've tried so hard, I have changed so much, I've evolved so many times But no one's been around to witness it, Except for me and my conscience I guess it's fine that I'm alone, I'm just comforted by the fact That it's enabled me to grow
When the curtain closed before the play ended I felt like I had lost my narrative vision All the characters, they just disappear Into nothingness All their hopes, inside jokes Their laughs, and their smiles They just turn into dust, they just turn into dirt It just works for me to forget you And I'll lose parts of myself In the process of erasing everyone That I loved, but left Before I had the chance to change I just wanna prove that I wasn't lying When I told you I loved you, well that was the truth But if you knew me now, you know I'd do anything To be a person you need But there's no rewriting the past, There's no forcing the future There is no way to give your whole soul away And have it returned undamaged to you Being alive is a hard sentence to fight When none of the jurors are even on your side So I'll play single-player role-playing Video games Until I die While playing through Earthbound for the seventh time I don't have much to say, I waste my life away Waiting for them to all come back And forgive me, but that won't happen Cause they all left for a reason, and I'm not denying that But if you knew me now, you know I'd do anything For a chance to say to your face I'm sorry
Cm, E, B, A People talk about loss like it's only death And not when people choose to leave you willingly People talk about loss like it's only death And not when you move real far away And never speak to your old friends again I guess I'm losing touch, cause I've been losing lots And I fear I'll lose everything else if I don't gain something new now The emptiness is consuming me, I have fallen through the void All I see is blackness and gravestones of relationships that have died And I guess that's fine, I guess that's fine People talk about loss like it's only death And not when you're diagnosed with a lifelong illness People talk about loss like they're the only ones To ever have felt the crushing weight Of everything slipping away Suddenly and violently, every worthwhile thing exits me Including my ability to feel anything Isolation is masturbation, incapable of any creation All I'm doing is prolonging my suffering E, A, Cm, B Before things can get better They'll get worse, and that's the worst Currently it's seeping into every atom of my being I've been numbing all my senses, incapable of simple gestures I just want to show the ones that I love That I will not be giving up again But the grief, the grief, the grief Makes it hard not to give in
Stamina 01:08
Nihilism is wisdom if you're an person on the internet Trying to get the last word in a conversation About things that people really care about But you're actually the smart one cause you realize nothing matters "Hey man fuck you, who are you to tell me I'm acting like a dick? In turn, I'll never internalize it or try to become something better Cause what's the point, the world is burning down Why would we need to change or grow If we're all gonna die tomorrow? I wish things could be better But they'll never be, they'll never be I wish things could be better But they'll never be, they'll never be And the never be, it starts with me"
A, E, D I wonder what it would be like if I didn't change when I did Would I still hurt everyone that I love? Would I still be so toxically desperate? E, D Would I still send mass snapchats A, E, D To all of my goddamn contacts As if there was inherent significance Dm, E In my loneliness A, E, D I spent so many nights chastising myself as a strategy To drill into my head the audacity That I must have had to be that way That I must have had to act that way E, D I'm just so grateful to have A, E, D Those pills out of my life To not be binge drinking all the time To no longer feel like a passenger Dm, E Of a self-driving car headed straight into a wall D, E I think there's a future in A, E, D Dissolving into kindness Becoming one with the lightness Nurturing a sympathy for the darkness And never snapping back To the selfishness that defined you in your past You must become A, E, D, Dm, A A person that you truly believe has earned love
If you've done things you regret now In the couple of decades you've been alive Please tell me why and if it has to do With the fact that you wanna be good, I believe you I believe you, I believe you, I believe in you Just stop fucking doing those things that you used to The self-destructive behaviors you've learned don't only affect you But the people you love, the ones You wish that you could take care of I think you're capable of that So don't self-destruct, please do not erupt, I know it's hard Just look deep inside, give it a try, and try again until you die The only way to cause minimal pain is to change You gotta change, and keep on changing Until you're proud of the person You are when you wake up in the morning You won't feel sad, you won't be angry You won't be bitter, even if you're in pain You'll just feel grateful, cause even when you're in pain Things look better when you look outward At all the people that you could love All the people that you will love All the pool parties you haven't been to yet All the board game nights you haven't been to yet All the karaoke bars you haven't been to yet But you'll never know if you give up now You might never know what it's like To be wholly, completely, totally Engulfed by the love of people that have no Obligation to see you, no obligation to treat you so well But they still do it, cause when they see you They see a person that would do the same for them too
Attempt #2 02:38
A, Absus4, F#m, E A, F#m, Absus4, E I'm trying to fall in love with you And it's stupid for me to think that you'd wanna do the same too So I will fantasize F#m, E, A, E, F#m, E About every plausible reality And doubt will consume me A, Absus4, F#m, E A, F#m, Absus4, E I really wanna see you the moment that I do wake up But I know that's the result of a reawakened teenage view on love I barely know you, yeah I never do But I'd really like to, if you'd let me through B5, E, A, F#m Dude, you know, that I am just a ghost Of a shitty past self that I hope you never have to know It's cool though, it's whatever, if you just want to be friends Sex was never the measure of the deepness of a connection But really man, it's fine, Just thought it would be cool to be stupid together It's just an adolescent crush, and I've already said too much B5, E Infatuation is a prison But I am my own warden I will keep myself in check So one day I can be released on good behavior A
Feels like I'm hearing voices And they're screaming at me, “You're doing it wrong” So I just fill my stomach With three four-dollar pizzas I bought at the supermarket Each day just blends into the next Constant betrayal of my success Don't care whether I live or die And that reflects in the way I live my life I don't wanna feel this way So ceaselessly focused on my own pain So I just take a shower I brush my teeth and later, I eat an apple The little things they do add up Some things have nothing to do with luck Let's treat the self with some respect And we all can learn to not treat ourselves as an object Maybe if I do what other people do When they love themselves, I'll love myself too Maybe if I do what other people do When they love themselves, I'll love myself too
Caught in between lines This is not my time You try to fail Just a ghost of a past self that you don't know very well Emptied all my pockets in front of your highness To prove to everyone that I'm not as rich as they thought I was We're just emulating past behaviors that we've witnessed As adolescents, subconsciously mirroring our parents I know I'm not your therapist, I'm just trying to be your friend The only real way to grow is to accept that you had a role In why the reason things had to end What's left to discover Except maybe another world Hopefully one you'll love Full of questions answered by people That actually know what they're talking about I broke down in front of a Chick-fil-A And I just hope one day things will be okay


released October 31, 2017


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Human Kitten Portland, Oregon

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