An Embrace of Adaptation

by Human Kitten

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1.
00:51
I see the Celtics on the TV set at the bar I see you're holding on hope now Are you moving forward? Or are you moving back? Latching onto everything you'd ever thought the world lacked But I gotta leave, I'm just picking up a delivery Sorry, I gotta go, but I'm so glad hope is a thing that you hold
2.
Burn it down into a powder And use that to fuel your No Hope This is a world built on deception Each and every ego finds a way to justify its action There is no escape From the lies that people tell themselves to get by There is no retreat From the wars over these misunderstood moralities So where do we go from here? Do we go howling into the night Holding on to all our spite Nurturing every ounce of pain Until it becomes everything? I don't have the answers I've just lived much of life in the waiting room of death One day it may dawn upon you, a harrowing revelation Oh, how helpless they are, all the things that can hurt you
3.
Wake up. What am I to do today? How do I fill the hours of a life Where I don't feel capable of doing anything at all? Wake up. How am I to feel today? How do I escape the agonizing narratives That kept me up til sunrise? I stare into the eyes of a distant hope and it says “hold on” I cant control the world, I can only control if I hold on Everything, it hurts right now, but I need to, I need to I need to hold on Wake up, I am useless That is all you want from me, to dissolve completely into Nothingness, nothing at all And I know that this is no better Breaking rules, attempts to feel less scattered Opposite directions take me I never learned to learn without failing
4.
It's never been easy to break free of everything lost Through horrible circumstances and the ways we cope Was it really my fault? Or was it something in between that and reality? I'm hard on myself, but maybe I don't know Let's backtrack, how did you react? How would you react now? Could progress be measured by anything else? Blanket statements on the inside Breaking my own heart The only way I know how to fall apart I feel something entering The void inside my hope But these defense mechanisms will never help me cope But I see the future in the faces of the people that still let me in Despite the darkness that engulfs us all Through a world that doesn't care Everything that it destroys All the systems we enforce that destroy And even though I've been destroyed, I am still worthy of love
5.
People either add to the chaos or they add to the hope People either add to the despair or they add to the empathy But the reality is that we all add to all four Probably a lot more evenly than we'd ever like to admit You are a human, you have a future Don't let anybody tell you that you'll find the Answers in the gutter now That place where good health goes to die The place where everyone validates your right To hate what you don't understand It can be boundless, your compassion It can be endless, your ability to grow The world, yes it is on fire And the toilets are overflowing throughout the house But you can take this problem and aim it at the other And then maybe you're one inch closer to truth
6.
I hope today will be okay I hope today will be fine When we stare into the past We always think the past will stare back But like staring at the sun The truth is you'll only go blind Holy notes lie to Unreliable narrators What's to be gathered from this loss Except an emptiness and grief Why am I so accustom to Losing grasp on everything? I know today will be okay I know today will be fine Because the future Well it stares at me with wide open eyes Burning through the darkness That consumed all of my Empty answers to Questions that I never asked The only thing I know for sure is that Everybody is afraid and lost Failing at fulfilling their needs and wants The world wasn't organized to make any of us healthy There is nothing more ordinary than all of this dysfunction
7.
On the dawn of the day when my life ends I'll make my way down to the kitchen And work on scrambling an egg On the dawn of the day when I will die I'll tell a stupid joke to my mother And surely she will sigh I've been left alone for far too long Community has always eluded me So I've wallowed in my inner sad song At the end of my life, I'll be sick to my stomach Cause no matter how cruel this world's been to me I know I'll find reasons to miss it So I'm glad I haven't yet been found dead Cause that was never guaranteed to me Whether it be by my own hand Or the ruthless hand of the powers that be I see a distant hell When I stare into the eyes of my past self But there is only here and now On the eve of the day when it cuts to black I'll crawl out of bed at midnight And eat some disgusting prepackaged snacks On the eve of the day when I disappear I'll read a short story to my cousin's kids And hope they can live lives with less fear At the end of my life, I'll bury my brain Within memories of all the art I love Reflections of beautiful humanity I won't be afraid to go I've long since given up any sense of control I'll just know I never knew anything at all At the end of the dawn of the final day I'll say goodbye to the people I grew to love But there will still be endless words left to say
8.
05:15

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an auxiliary ep

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released October 31, 2019

music by elijah
cover photo by chazaq

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Human Kitten Tucson, Arizona

acoustic songs about isolation, crisis, pain, growth, & learning to be alive after years of anticipating death

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